Hello Mrs. Jones
5:21 Mon May 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Our ski instructor named Liszt,
Said I'm off out on the piste
But he hid in the trees
Took off both his ski
And quietly had one off the wrist
A man I once knew called Jack
Had hair all over his back
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arsene york-hunt
1:00 Mon May 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A Gooner from nearby Burnt Oak
Knows deep down that they’ll choke,
He behaves like they've won,
But when all's said and done,
He really is a strange bloke.
Our ski instructor named Liszt,
Said I'm off out on the piste.
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Hello Mrs. Jones
11:28 Sun May 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Some of these rhymes are quite rude,
And some are just fucking crude.
many are not
But I’ll just tell you what
I much prefer the ones that are lewd
A Gooner from nearby Burnt Oak
Knows deep down that they’ll choke
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arsene york-hunt
5:29 Sun May 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
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She knelt down then got on all fours
Said "Help yourself to my back doors."
To myself I linked 'er,
Via her anal sphincter,
Well you know, it's one of life's chores.
Some of these rhymes are quite rude,
And some are just fucking crude.
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Mike Oxsaw
3:48 Sun May 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
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I was thinking to go down the pub
But instead I'll click on Pornhub
The girls were so young,
So, just for some fun,
I gave my John Thomas a rub.
She knelt down then got on all fours
Said "Help yourself to my back doors."
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Hello Mrs. Jones
12:03 Sun May 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
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This morning I wasn't quite able
To get to the bog, lay a cable
Talking of turds
I like it when birds
Shit on a glass coffee table
I as thinking to go down the pub
But instead I'll click on Pornhub
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Mike Oxsaw
7:30 Sat May 11
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A feisty young girl from St Mawes
Would wear a short skirt and no drawers
A breeze from the west
Would lift up her vest
And prove her the queen of all whores.
This morning I wasn't quite able
To get to the bog, lay a cable.
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Helmut Shown
4:33 Sat May 11
Re: New Limerick Thread
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She was worse the wear from the booze,
Ugly with piercings and tattoos
It's quarter to two
What can you do?
Us beggars we can't choose
A feisty young girl from St Mawes
Would wear a short skirt and no drawers
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arsene york-hunt
2:29 Sat May 11
Re: New Limerick Thread
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I asked my wife for a quick nosh
She hit me - a real biff, bash, bosh.
With this bad injury
Ended in A & E.
When i met her I thought she was posh.
She was worse the wear from the booze,
Ugly with piercings and tattoos.
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Mike Oxsaw
11:48 Fri May 10
Re: New Limerick Thread
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There was a young girl from Ibiza,
Thought by most to be a prick teaser.
She'd give you, for free,
A bad STD
But only if you're a real geezer.
I asked my wife for a quick nosh
She hit me - a real biff, bash, bosh.
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arsene york-hunt
11:01 Fri May 10
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A footballer who came from Korea
Is a diving cheat, so I hear.
Fourrbees say: 'snot funny,
A fine man's our Sonny."
But that's just verbal diarrhoea.
There was a young girl from Ibiza,
Thought by most to be a prick teaser
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Helmut Shown
8:21 Fri May 10
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Of girls I've known there's been some
Who preferred to be fucked up the bum
But stick it up dry
You'll get a black eye
Use lube and apply with the thumb
A footballer who came from Korea
Is a diving cheat, so I hear
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Mike Oxsaw
6:18 Fri May 10
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Cunnilingus is really quite tough
When the girl has a thick bushy muff.
But, part all that hair
And the pussy is there
For many, that's more than enough.
Of girls I've known there's been some
Who preferred to be fucked up the bum.
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Hello Mrs. Jones
6:05 Fri May 10
Re: New Limerick Thread
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He wanted an option that’s cheap
In a field he shagged an old sheep
He tried to purge
His bestial urge
But he really didn't fancy Bo Peep
Cunnilingus is really quite tough
When the girl has a thick bushy muff
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Helmut Shown
1:24 Fri May 10
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Will the dinosaur be any bolder.
It's my last game as an ST holder,
I’ve given up hope
Because of the dope
He has no plan B in his folder
He wanted an option that’s cheap
In a field he shagged an old sheep
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arsene york-hunt
6:04 Fri May 10
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Now Villa are failing, it seems
Like all other Top English teams
But there are fuck all,
Who like West Ham fall,
About which on this thread are reams.
Will the dinosaur be any bolder.
It's my last game as an ST holder,
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Mike Oxsaw
12:08 Fri May 10
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Disgust is normally voiced
If you ask a girl if she's moist
But ask if she's wet
It's a near certain bet
It's you up the yard-arm she'll hoist
Now Villa are failing, it seems
Like all other Top English teams
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Helmut Shown
7:56 Thu May 9
Re: New Limerick Thread
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As I really don’t hate Luton Town
I hope that Notts Forest go down
Gibbs-White takes a fall
For a red card call
A cheat of appalling renown
Disgust is normally voiced
If you ask a girl if she's moist
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Hello Mrs. Jones
7:21 Thu May 9
Re: New Limerick Thread
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In a brothel near East India docks,
A young man was given the pox
There’s a risk of disease
From the women who please
As a result of so many cocks
As I really don’t hate Luton Town
I hope that Notts Forest go down
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arsene york-hunt
8:43 Wed May 8
Re: New Limerick Thread
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There was a young lady from Brighton
The back of her skirt had shite on
Caused shame and heartache,
But learned from her mistake,
Next time she'll shit with the light on.
In a brothel near East india docks,
A young man was given the pox
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Helmut Shown
6:40 Wed May 8
Re: New Limerick Thread
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He tried to curl out on the bog,
Producing a twig, not a log
Eating liquorice and prunes
Produced nothing but fumes
Well, that's what it said on his blog
There was a young lady from Brighton
The back of her skirt had shite on
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